I read a question posed on the internet that asked, “What is Real Love?…” So, from my personal experience from a three year relationship, here is my answer…always keeping in mind that nothing is ever perfect, but we achieved this 95% of the time.

A deep spiritual connection…one where we surrender to the Universe/God/Spirit and trust that together we are being lovingly guided in our best interest. Faith, hope, love, trust. Spontaneity and surprise. Cooking together. Finishing each other’s sentences. Pillow talk. Intimacy…physical, emotional, spiritual. Utmost respect at all times. Flexibility. Communication…listening to learn and to uncover solutions. Gratitude. Patience. Resiliency in working through a disagreement without sulking for too long, as sulking only prolongs a much needed conversation, and pollutes the environment with negative energy….Humor. Laughter. Fun. Meaningful conversations that promotes deeper connection, even when we have a difference of opinion. Complete and unconditional acceptance of another, and forgiveness. Encouragement of independence, and encouragement of growth. Experiencing joy and peace. Needing no words…AND…Words that are loving and kind…even when our beloved is not with us…and speaking of them as we would of ourselves. Action behind words. Being present. A heart orgasm. Excitement over your beloved’s joy and achievements. Feeling that our beloved is strongly connected to us even when they are not in the same physical space. Deep compassion and empathy. Staying faithful only to each other. Willingness to do “the work” when needed. Not feeling it necessary to “keep score.” Keeping an open mind and heart. Transparency. Truth and trustworthiness every time. Personal accountability. Never, ever allowing our anger and impatience to cause us to give up, or to break our commitment. Not being stuck on being right, but finding a compromise…whatever it takes. Easily being able to apologize. Humility. Standing by our beloved without a thought. Emotional support. Knowing there are always options. Holding hands…just because.

Remembering each of these things during the good times, and especially during the challenging times…and never waiting to say, “I love you” until tomorrow. The present is the only time, and the power of love is the only way. Praying together and listening for Guidance. The Universe/God/Spirit leads us by example…if we are willing to listen…learn…love. It is more than words…it is a feeling…of “home.”” – Wendy Blanchard, M.S., CHHC

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