A Journey that has come full circle – Wendy Blanchard, M.S., INHC, NYCPS


My body has changed.

Lupus and the drugs it needs to tame it causes weight gain and “moon face.”

For decades I lived with an eating disorder where I controlled my weight through not eating at all, to eating a tiny bit and then using diuretics, fleet enemas, and handfuls of over the counter pills that induce bowel movements. Sometimes, I forced myself to throw up.

Now in my 10th year of recovery at the age of 64, I look at the beauty and goodness within. I acknowledge and validate the lifelong trauma that I experienced and numbed with prescriptions drugs, attempted suicide, self harm, bulimia, anorexia, and other mental health disorders.

I was never, ever taught to see ME. I was only taught how important my appearance was, (hair, makeup, weight, clothes) and how much my personal possessions cost. The higher the amount, the more I was respected and cheered.


I see me now, and I am healing from an autoimmune disease with flying colors. I am also healing from a skewed perception of the meaning of life and of me, Wendy Coven Blanchard, as a precious human being. And, I am healing from a dysregulated nervous system caused by years of abuse, neglect and mental health disorders.

I love the woman that I have become.

I no longer look at my weight. I no longer look at the “stuff” I purchase as a reflection of my worth and value. I allow myself to feel my emotions, to share my feelings, and to love all of me, no matter the outward appearance, and no matter what anyone else says or thinks.

I look at my personal and professional achievements over the past 10 years, and all of the beautiful souls that I have served living with the same disorders that I lived with, and still live with, through the beauty, empathy and compassion within me.

THAT is how I am defined.

NOT by what the scale says, or the size clothing I wear, or the “stuff” in my home, or whether I can smile and suppress my true emotions in order not to make anyone else uncomfortable.

I am love. I am beauty. I am truth and integrity. And I live with God within my soul.

Pay attention to who you are, not what you look like, or how much “stuff,” you own.

Allow yourself to connect within and to experience your emotions. Share them with a safe person or write in a journal. Journaling allows us to filter the information, and to process the information. Do it daily.

And start all over again tomorrow.

Healing and evolving is a lifelong process.

Take your time.

Never apologize for your journey, how much time it takes, or for being authentic.

Authenticity is your power.

Wellness is your power.

Stand in your power.

Love and blessings,


Wendy Blanchard