“I shall not want” Psalm 23 1 – Wendy Blanchard, M.S., INHC, NYCPS
When my doctor suggested that I take a medication that actually “increases the levels of the neurotransmitters serotonin and norepinephrine (in the brain) and that which is believed to be responsible for regulating both a person’s mood and their sensitivity to pain, I vehemently refused.
I am in recovery from prescription drug addiction, now in my 10th year of wellness, and I did not want anything to alter my now very healthy brain chemistry. I am not depressed, although I do experience anxiety, and I do live with chronic pain. My healthy brain has healed from 40 years of prescription drug addiction, and I was not willing to compromise my brain health.
I had been given two epidurals into the nerves of my spine under anesthesia due to degenerative disc disease and advanced arthritis, which were unsuccessful long term. As my pain became debilitating and it kept me immobile in addition to severe swelling of the joints and back spasms, I was not given any other solutions other than this drug.
I cried and felt hopeless when I finally had to swallow that first pill after a year of refusing to take this non addictive drug.
Spirit kept telling me this was NOT the proper treatment for me. However, due to the excruciating pain where I could not think clearly, and doctor’s that did not offer any other solution, I took the drug.
ALWAYS LISTEN TO YOUR GUT AND FOLLOW GOD’S DIRECTION. God know’s what is best for us.
And He was right.
Within hours, I experienced violent side effects including a rapid heart rate, severe pounding in my head, confusion, extreme nausea and vomiting, insomnia and extreme irritability with racing, unhealthy thoughts. This after only ONE pill. All reported side effects of this drug.
It took 48 hours until I began to feel “back to normal,” and although the pain was still present, I would rather feel the pain than purposefully hijack my brain and experience this type of trauma.
When our body and mind are experiencing such severe side effects, it is the body’s way of telling us that we must cease artificially trying to mask our pain. We must cultivate a holistic plan of healing that aligns with our body’s natural gift of healing. And, to listen to Spirit’s guidance.
I turned back to what I had been taught from my Functional Medicine Physician, Dr, Robert Gregory, years ago and began with wrapping my swollen and painful knee with kinesiology tape, and wrapped my velcro binding back brace around my back, and took Motrin to reduce the inflammation.
Immediate support and pain relief.
As I await my appointment for a more long term solution, I continue applying all of my body, mind and spirit natural and organic tools to assist my body in healing and feeling comfortable. This includes my spiritual connection as my first line of defense. If I had “listened” to Spirit in the first place, I never would have gone through this terrible experience. I listened to a sermon yesterday by Pastor Steven Furtick of Elevation Church, one that was definitely something I was spiritually guided to listen to in order to remind me of God’s ever lasting presence and guidance.
Pastor Steven said (I am paraphrasing) that we cannot rely on our senses for answers. We have to listen and see beyond our senses and remember that we can’t continue to rely on the flesh for something that was orchestrated by God. He reminded us that we cannot depend on our senses but only to depend on God for the answers and guidance. Pastor Steven concludes with the words, “He’s still the Shepherd. I shall not want.” Words that resonated deeply and redirected me more deeply to my faith as I face this challenge with my physical health.
I always tell those in my workshops and with whom I coach in my private practice, “Inherently we know what we need to heal.” In my pain, I made an emotional decision versus a logical decision, and did not choose the right solution for myself. However, within 24 hours, due to the severe side effects of this horrible drug, and God speaking to me through Pastor Steven, I knew that I needed to choose again.
And I did.
This is the beauty of choice. In every moment, we can always choose again. And, if we pause to listen to God when we ask for answers, even in our deepest pain, physically and emotionally, we will “hear and see” beyond our physical limitations because He truly is “still the shepherd.”
I know as the upcoming days and weeks unfold, He will lead me to the people that will best serve my healing on a celluar level.
“I shall not want.”
Love and blessings,
Wendy
