In time spent with my life transitions coach/counselor, I have been told to “let go of the toxic relationships in your life.”

I would never offer this suggestion to a client in my practice who is coming to me for guidance and support. It is unreasonable and mis-directed to expect one to “just let go.” This can be an outcome that we work towards along the long and winding road of recovery from familial toxicity, and/or toxic love relationships with a partner, friend, colleague.

We must unlearn unhealthy behaviors first that were ingrained into our thoughts and beliefs by those who were unwell themselves, but tasked to be our caregivers. Those behaviors which were based on toxic experiences and beliefs by those “leading by poor example” which kept us from our own wellness throughout our lives.

As we begin to unravel our toxic experiences, we begin to understand that what we have been accepting from others, and from ourselves is unhealthy and unkind to our own health. This is where we have the opportunity to implement healthy practices, and choose wellness.

We must also be aware that triggers may creep in at any time re-birthing old thought patterns. If we pause to ask ourselves what healthy practice, and/or choice would best serve us in this moment each time we feel triggered, we will begin to re-train our brain in choosing a wellness mindset.

It is a lifelong process of unlearning, learning, patience, love and empathy of self.”

Love and blessings,


Wendy Blanchard